I’ve got a problem with ‘deserve’. 

I guess it comes from the feeling that the universe doesn’t owe me anything. I mean, the word ‘deserve’ seems to say that I’ve pre-loaded Karma and it now owes me something. Which, all things considered, I don’t consider that to be true.

Unless you believe in ‘an all powerful Force controlling … everything’. Of course, I do believe in that, but I don’t think that praying to God or doing the right number of Hail Mary’s or kissing a ring or anything of that nature guarantees me success in what I’m doing.

Once upon a time, I heard a country song that went something like this:

(Garth Brooks from 1990 if you care)(yes, I looked it up)

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers

Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs

That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care

Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

The premise of the song was that sometimes you don’t know enough about a situation to know what to pray for. Or to work toward to make sure you deserve it. Or to generate enough Karma to mean you’ll be owed.

Most of that song aligns with what I believe too. Mostly, how can I put my own thoughts and needs and things I ‘deserve’ against someone else’s life? I mean, suppose that I could actually get what I think I deserve, and the outcome of that is that someone else’s Karma roll fails and they wind up careening off the pass whilst taking their mom home to sister’s house, and spend the next day shivering in the cold waiting for someone to find them.

On the other hand, I suppose that’s a pretty good definition of Karma right there – you get what you wanted, but you have to pay for it.

Is it also a good definition of Karma that you can do whatever you want to someone else because if it happens to them, it means they deserved it? I don’t really think so, billy-bob.

Anyhow, I’m gonna keep on running down the trail, hoping to have Karma swing my way when I really need it. 

I mean, after all, I deserve it, right?